Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
