He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
