so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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