hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
we should paint friendship bongs
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
