oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
