It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize