Whod you bang
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize