im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize