so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
