Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
