how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
