It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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