So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
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She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
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Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home