True but thats because hes a fetus.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
