i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom