It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
