She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
