I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Don't you send me to vm
Me too!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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