wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
