Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
