I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
