I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
