Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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