Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
