He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
