Pappa wants mamma naked
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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