I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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