He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
