We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
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When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
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I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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