Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize