Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i think my tv is drunk
never play flip cup with pint glasses
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
