I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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