shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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