so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
