i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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