Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
