New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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