It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
