Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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