We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize