I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
