This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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