i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
