would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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