Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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