just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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