i think my tv is drunk
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Do vagina's smell?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
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