So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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