No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
