is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
