Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
