How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
