Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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