i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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