i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
