waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
