Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
