i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Blood and glitter go together right?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
