we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
