His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I need to sanitize my soul.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize