so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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