I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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