you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
