The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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