White coat. Heels.
I cannot find my penis.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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