I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
