So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize