so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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