her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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